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The Adventures of Tank Girl March 23, 2011

Posted by Stormy in General Whinging, Sweating Bullet Points, Tank Girl.

As I mentioned previously, this past weekend I threw caution to the wind, strapped a shield onto my baby blood elf’s back, spent a little gold on a new protection spec, and went a little wild and cahraaaaaazy. But here’s the thing: I can’t stop. I log in every day and do my jewelcrafting daily on my druid, then log over and do the cooking and fishing dailies on my hunter (the only way the damned thing is going to get to 85)…then it’s tankin’ time.

Last night I tanked Dire Maul East and Scholomance, and by the time I finished Scholo it was about 12:30AM and I should have gone to bed. The Dungeon Finder, however, is a cruel mistress and wouldn’t let me sleep. I queued up again and got Stratholme. Shit. I love the atmosphere and the lore of Stratholme, but I don’t have a clue how to get around in there. Luckily I had a map and four very, very patient people who had been there many more times than I have, and we ended up doing a full clear. Special thanks to Corien of <Petopians> for being understanding and entertaining as all get out.

Random Discursive Tanking Thoughts:

  • Apparently I’ve just been following tanks and DPS around like a lost puppydog for the past year. The Northrend (and to a lesser extent the Cataclysm) dungeons are very linear–there’s only one right way to go, but the vanilla dungeons aren’t like that at all. Left to my own devices I would have wandered around Uldaman, Dire Maul or Stratholme for hours, hopelessly lost. But I’m learning. Last night I actually led a group through Dire Maul East, and I’ve now been through it enough times that I could do it again in a heartbeat.
  • I am still working on the basics of tanking (although I long for the day when I can have a reasonably cogent discussion about rotations, threat, stats and the like), but I have been completely impressed with my own tanking of Scholomance in particular. I’ve seen so many wipes in there caused by tanks just running into the first room and going bananas attempting to pick up the whole room, and it can’t be done. A few weeks ago Kurnmogh of Kurn’s Corner told a tale of a recent raid wherein she, the holy pally, stepped in to do a pull that her tanks were having trouble with and pulled it off flawlessly. She posited that because of her background as a hunter she had special experience in tricky/complicated pulls and pulled in a way her tanks weren’t used to. Maybe it’s because I come from a hunter background too, but an initial pull is like the initial incision for a surgical procedure: position yourself accordingly, pick your target carefully, look around you and watch out for potential hazards, then strike quickly.
  • Warriors are jerks. No offense to any warriors who may be reading this, but your class…it sucks and I hate you all. If you wanted to tank the damned instance, queue up as a tank and leave the rest of us alone. You, Mr. Warrior Jackass that pulled everything in Dire Maul East last night…I’m talking to you.
  • I’m so not looking forward to the 50s and chaining Blackrock Depths runs. BRD is where PuGs go to die…repeatedly. If you wipe in BRD you might as well suck it up, drop group and take the deserter debuff, because it’s all over. I am, however, really really really looking forward to tanking Northrend dungeons because I know them like the back of my hand.

Earlier this week in a response to a comment, I said I was planning on writing a post about The Things DPS Do That Piss Me Off. But I’m not really going to do that. You’ve all heard that refrain a hundred times, the druid who randomly goes AFK without saying anything, the mage who’s never heard the term “threat management”, the hunter pulling everything in sight and rolling on cloth gear. Those stereotypes are tired…but true. I’ve seen it all in the short time I’ve been tanking. But you don’t want to read that. You live it every day.

Still, I’m mentally writing an open letter to the hunters of the world, and that’s on the agenda for later this week. Until then, if anyone needs me, look for the redheaded blood elf with the shield and the skull-headed mace strapped to her back.



1. Fuzzy_Magicz - March 24, 2011

Seriously, you think pull-happy DPS warriors are bad, wait til you get to Outland and you have a million DKs with an itchy trigger finger. And then they get annoyed at me because I’m standing there asking them not to pull and ‘taking way too long to pull just go’.
Anyway, glad to see you find tanking fun, try to get some sleep 😮

2. Herc the Merc - March 24, 2011

As a plate-wearing DPS engine of destruction with a fully functional frontal lobe, it irritates me to no end when I see Warriors and DK’s who say “I’m DPS lol” just before they a) run out in front of the tank to pull, or b) rip aggro from the tank because they wear plate and pwn or something.

These are folks who should be left for dead by the tank, the healer, and everyone else in the group to act as a reminder that playing stupid and selfish, impresses no one.

Looking forward to the Open Letter to the Hunters of the world.

theasylumwall - March 24, 2011


I wish I could take ’em out back and beat them. They’re the people who make it necessary for people like you to introduce yourself as a “plate-wearing DPS engine of destruction with a fully functional frontal lobe”. A good friend of mine from my old guild plays a DK, and you know what? She plays it well. She goes to EJ and reads stuff *and actually understands it*. She knows her class and her spec inside and out, and she can DPS me and any of our other guildies under the table. But to the outside world she’s a “deathtard,” and she sometimes gets kicked from randoms on sight. And she doesn’t deserve it, but she’s stuck with the reputation of those who preceded her.

Still…rogues and fury warriors…so not my friends right now.

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