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I Don’t Believe in Random March 30, 2011

Posted by Stormy in General Whinging, Moar Ranting, Personal, Tank Girl.

I don’t believe in random.

I’m not going to get all philosophical here and talk about religion or everything happening for a reason. Let’s just talk about WoW.

Things don’t happen at random. Even in the Random Dungeon Finder (Seriously, HoR and Gundrak every day for six months? Random, my ass.) Sometimes there’s a weird confluence of events that just makes me sit back and say, “There’s no way that was random.” A couple months ago I had a huge snit with my former guildmaster, and after having endured a previous guild split and a slew of little snits with various guildies, I was ready to be done. I was ready to park my toons in Orgrimmar, log out, and never look back. I was flying around Uldum on my priest gathering ore* and feeling angry at the world when a little Elementium Geode poked out its little, er, head and said “Hi! Be my friend!”

Someone, somewhere, was trying to tell me something, or at least make me feel better.

So last night I did a little housekeeping stuff on my various toons, then logged into my paladin for what I hoped would be a night of AVENGER’S SHIELD CONSECRATE HAMMER OF THE RIGHTEOUS DIE MOBS DIEEEEEE. I had a relatively uneventful Sucky Sunken Temple run, then spun the wheel again. Lower Blackrock Spire. Kids, I’ve never even been in Blackrock Spire, much less tanked it. But I’m a good sport, and I had good sports with me (including a shaman named Pastureized, who is my new BFF ever because he led me through the whole thing and kept me alive through all my shitty tanking).

Then there was the mage. Let’s call her Aggro Diva. And the boomkin. Let’s call him Typhooooooon.

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: If you’re a boomkin and you’re in a random and you’re hitting typhoon every time it’s off cooldown, I hate you and would like you to die a fiery, painful death. Or at least delete your boomkin. Or maybe just delete your Typhoon keybind. Seriously, it’s annoying as shit, and causes me to have to pick mobs back up when they’re halfway across the room. Not fun. Please, for the love of Cenarius, stop it.

So here I am in a completely unfamiliar dungeon with the Dippy DPS Twins and a revolving cavalcade of players in the third DPS slot who kept disconnecting. Plus, I gotta tell you, LBRS is loooooong. By three quarters of the way through it, I was so discouraged by the dueling DPS dimwits and my crappy tanking and the looooong dungeon that I was ready to hang up my shield and never tank again.

We rounded the corner and cleared a bunch of annoying little spiders. Before us was Mother Smolderweb, the biggest, baddest spider I’ve ever laid eyes on. AVENGER’S SHIELD CONSECRATE HOLY WRATH DIEEEEE SPIDER DIEEE. I took out all my pent up aggression against every little creepy crawly spider that ever crossed my path. I hate spiders, and I hated this one even more, because she was standing between me and the exit to LBRS. I wanted her dead, and I wanted her dead now. So we killed her.

And she gave me this:

Smolderweb Hatchling

Grimsey with her Smolderweb Hatchling

The Smolderweb Egg dropped, we all rolled Greed, and somehow, I won. That wasn’t random. That was the “Random” Number Generator Gods saying: “It was worth it. We’ll make it worth it. You stuck your neck out, dealt with a couple losers and tanked a brand new dungeon. Here’s your reward.”

I don’t believe in random.

*Yes, my priest is a miner. No, none of my profession combinations make any sense. Very little I do makes any sense. That’s how I roll.



1. Fuzzy_Magicz - March 30, 2011

Your opening paragraph caught my attention because I recently read an article in the BBC Focus magazine about random.
The thing is, if you ask a human being to choose 5 random numbers between 1 and 10 – they won’t choose random numbers. They’ll choose 5 different numbers that aren’t consecutive.
If you actually analyse random events, coincidences and sequences happen more often than not. If you put 24 people in a room, there is more than a 50% chance that two will share the same birthday.
Anyway, I’ve gone off at a massive tangent and I’m pleased you’re still enjoying the tanking. I’m getting a little bored after tanking my way through Outland and now Northrend.

Psynister - March 30, 2011

And random number generators in computers aren’t actually random either, they’re based on a fraction of the second at which you initiated the roll to take place. So it’s theoretically impossible to nail an exact number you want unless you’re capable of tracking milliseconds in your head, but it’s still not exactly “random”.

2. Random. No Such Thing. | MMO Melting Pot - March 30, 2011

[…] How many times have you stared the random number generator in the face with your toon’s last crafting mats in hand, hoping you’ll get that final profession point? Trusted the loot roll of the dice in your LoTRO Fellowship? Prayed to Lady Luck that you’ll find something useful digging down in Minecraft before night falls and things come to gobble up your kneecaps? Hah, says Stormy. She doesn’t believe in all that. […]

3. Psynister - March 30, 2011

Grats on the new pet(s), and may those “random” numbers keep rolling in your favor. 🙂

4. Cynwise - March 30, 2011

I don’t like spiders, but I make an exception for my Smolderweb Hatchling. Congrats!

5. Kialesse - March 30, 2011

I don’t believe in random, either. Or coincidence. So it is simply the way the universe works that a few days after Larisa closed the Inn, MMO Melting Pot (who made it on to my blogroll after Larisa gave them a Piggie) gave you some linky love as is their nature and I stumbled my way over here. And now YOU are on my blogroll. Not solely because your priest is a miner and I think that’s awesome, but you know, it helped.

Stormy - March 30, 2011

So…when The Fates close a door, someone else throws a rock through a window? 🙂

Welcome. I’m glad someone appreciates my random weirdness. *dances for your amusement*

6. Saga - March 31, 2011

Random is… well.. not as random as one might think. I know I never win rolls (unless I’m the only one rolling – and I guess I’d be hard pressed to lose then) and no rare mounts ever drop for me. If it was truly random I’d have liked to think that eventually I’d get at least something.

Congratulations on your new pets! I have to admit that I had no idea that the spider was a drop now (was a quest reward once upon a time, where you had to kill the spider – or the eggs.. or something.. I can’t remember, it’s a long time ago and I have the memory of a goldfish), at least that explains why I couldn’t find the quest!

Also, my Priest is a miner too. For.. reasons unknown. Or rather, I needed a miner and she was the only one with a duplicate profession at the time – so mining here I go! Or something..

Like your writing btw (since I’m busy rambling anyway), found it today via MMO Melting Pot 🙂

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