Deathwing’s Extreme Home Makeover: Hillsbrad April 28, 2011
Posted by Ben in Leveling, Zones.trackback
Taking a break from this week’s discussion of the Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory, it’s time for the return of Deathwing’s Extreme Zone Makeover!
Hillsbrad Foothills
First up, the Alliance has been banished from this zone. It’s Horde-only questing now. Having fought alongside Sylvanas in her attempt to take Gilneas for the Forsaken (I mean, Horde), you ride into Hillsbrad. You’re met by a gate of sorts and perhaps the single funniest quest that Blizzard has ever created. You become a quest giver. And you give quests to three player caricatures that come riding up to you.
- Dumass
- Johnny Awesome
- Kingslayer Orkus
You give each of them tasks and engage in some hilarious dialogue. If you haven’t done this quest yet, then you need to get there. It’s awesome. Once you’re done sending others to do your dirty work, it’s time for you to get out and explore the zone.
The Mines
Spiders have taken over the mines to the South. You do the usual work to try and clear it out, and find Dumass trapped in the depths. You rescue him against your better judgment, and he runs off to the next adventure that will surely mean his doom. This is embraced with typical Forsaken humor.
Hillsbrad Fields
The Battle of Hillsbrad is over, and the Forsaken won. Hillsbrad Fields (now called the Sludge Fields) is now a prison/plague testing area. You run into a crying Johnny Awesome, and the sparkly corpse of his sparkle pony. A moment of levity in a subzone with some disturbing turns (including an abomination reminiscent of Festergut/Rotface that’s the combination of the farmers from the old quests)
Peacebloom vs. Zombies
This is here. It is not important to the story in any way. And it’s a massive time suck.
Southshore
The former Alliance town is now glowing with green sludge. And here we meet Orkus. Drowning in knee deep water. Through hilarious cutscenes, we help him take care of the Alliance threat to the zone.
Tarren Mill
Now decked out in Forsaken architecture, this town is the base from which the rest of your quests will flow. The Alliance isn’t leaving the zone quietly, and you’ve got to force them out of the bluffs overlooking the hills and the old dwarven settlement in the far southeast.
Alterac Mountains
This zone was merged into the zone in Cataclysm, but there is nothing there. No quests at least. Just there. Disappointing.
This zone got an awesome makeover. Unlike other zones that have very serious plots, this zone chooses humor even in areas that might otherwise be disturbing. What was your favorite (or least favorite) part of this awesome zone?
Scribblings on the Asylum Wall 
I’ve not done Hillsbrad (being Alliance these days and all), but I’ll admit that I’ve considered making myself a little hordie just to do Silverpine and Hillsbrad because the quest lines there just seem really good.
I too have not done it, but looking forward to the day I get round to rolling a Forsaken Hunter and powering through TG, silverpine and hillsbrad (all great new zones).
The night the Shattering patch dropped, one of the first things I did was head right over to Silverpine. I had heard tons of people squealing about how great the new zones were, and I wanted to see it for myself. As I flew over the road that goes from Brill to the Sepulcher I was absolutely blown away. In the time between the Shattering patch and the actual Cata launch date I rolled an Undead mage and played through the zones, and again I was absolutely blown away. Say what you want about some of Cataclysm’s shortcomings, but Blizzard absolutely hit this one out of the park.
I will say, though, that the whole Johnny Awesome/Jenny Awesome storyline annoyed me. I thought it was juvenile and unnecessary…but I’ve been told I’m oversensitive, so let’s go with that.
On the subject of Johnny Awesome…The blood elf male confused as a female shtick is rather tired. But the fate of Twinkles the Sparkle Pony is comedy gold.