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The Tale of Eliza Goodloe, Part I June 1, 2011

Posted by Stormy in Leveling.

This weekend I transferred my orphaned 72 shadow priest to Moon Guard and enlisted as a member of <Burning Serenity> . This is my first foray into the roleplaying side of WoW, and this is Part One of the fulfillment of my promise to Burning Serenity’s GM Caela (The Pink Pally) to attempt a roleplaying story.

“Eliza! Come help with the washing!” came the voice across the river. Eliza Goodloe scooped up her book, looked across the river to the small farmhouse, rolled her eyes, and tried not to trip over her shoes as she ran. She knew it was Tuesday, washing day, but she had just gotten a new book to read and she wanted to spend the day living vicarious adventures in far off lands. Her mother would have none of it. The raven-haired nine-year old girl thought herself too smart and too worldly for menial household tasks like laundry, but she knew all too well the sting of a switch across her back, and it was a pain she didn’t want to feel again anytime soon. Eliza stood up, brushed the dust off her modest farmhouse dress, and wandered back to the house.

“Eliza! Come now!” yelled the portly older woman from foyer door. Though Catherine Goodloe had reached the age of forty-three her hair was still black as coal and her mind was still sharp. Catherine Goodloe was a stern woman who was not to be trifled with, and her children knew it. She shot a cross look at the precocious girl as Eliza swung through the door. Eliza grabbed the basket off the floor and walked outside to the clothesline, and didn’t dare look at her mother, lest she find herself in more trouble than she was in already. She muttered to herself softly as she pulled petticoats off the line, then headed back in the house. She took the steps three at a time and had gotten nearly to the top when she stopped cold and screamed.

“AIEEEEEEEEEE!” The spider was probably only the size of a gold piece, but in Eliza’s mind it was the size of a dinner plate. The laundry basket she dropped had spilled its contents all down the stairs, but Eliza stood her ground. She glared at the spider as she pondered her options. Suddenly and without warning a flash of light shot out from Eliza’s hand, and the spider had been dispatched. And then she heard footsteps…angry footsteps.

“Eliza! What on Earth…” Her mother’s voice trailed off.

“The spider just died, Mother. I swear I didn’t do anything.” Eliza pleaded. Tears, a mixture of shock and terror, streamed down her face.

“Come and sit down, dear. It’s time. Time you knew the truth.” Eliza slumped down into a dining room chair and listened. Her eyes widened as her mother spilled a hair-raising tale of magic. “You were born with a gift, Eliza. A gift you got from your father.” Her eyes widened further. Her father, a blacksmith by trade, was the leader of the town’s Sunday worship meeting and had been said to have been blessed by the Light. Eliza didn’t really know what that meant, but as her mother kept talking Eliza listened intently. “You killed the spider, Eliza. You have the same gift your father did. In a split second you summoned so much anger toward that spider that the Light granted you tremendous power to kill your enemy. In time you’ll learn to harness that power, to call upon shadow magic to cause unbelievable pain to those who get in your way. It’s time for you to begin learning your truth.”



1. Fuzzy_Magicz - June 1, 2011

I enjoyed reading this, and am looking forward to more.
May I suggest trying to inject more description and stretch out your prose a bit more. It’s a problem I suffer from as well, and it may seem like meaningless filler words, but without more substance the story seems sketchy and moves too quickly.
Good luck with the rest!

Rush - June 1, 2011

I’d be careful about just adding “more description” though. We’ve all been subjected to those books in school that spend a paragraph describing a cloud. Nothing about that makes it interesting unless the cloud is important to the story. Whenever you’re about the describe something, think about how important the object is to the story.
I try to limit description to actions and atmosphere and let the reader’s imagination decide what color the dress or house might be. Especially in an established setting like Azeroth, the hard work of setting is done for us.
I’d also include more interior monologue. Show us what the character is thinking/feeling in the situation.

2. The Pink Pally - June 1, 2011


An rp character background doesn’t necessarily need to be a full life’s story up to the present, but it should at least cover a defining moment or two. And this is excellent! Talk about THE defining moment in her life!

I can’t tell you how happy I am to have you with us in Burning Serenity. And I’m looking forward to more of Eliza’s story and getting to know her in game. 🙂

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